How to be an authentic leader. First step, ignore the experts.

These days everyone seems to be talking about ‘authentic leadership.’ As buzzwords go
‘authenticity’ is right up there with strategize, optimise, and synergise! The assumption
being that authenticity and being your genuine self at work are good things.

Not so fast.

The ‘no’ case has been put most strongly by business professor Adam Grant. Grant says
being yourself at work is terrible advice, especially if your real self is a jerk. Grant reminds
us that we all have thoughts and feelings that are best left unsaid. He further argues our
ability for self-monitoring can actually inhibit our ability for authenticity, and there is more
personal growth to be found in pursuing sincerity, not authenticity.

In contrast, the ‘yes’ case has been put, just as strongly, by research professor Brené Brown.
Brown says being authentic is not simply voicing every thought while disregarding how are
hurting others. Brown says authenticity requires constant self-awareness into the
connections between our thoughts, feelings and behaviours. The ultimate goal is finding
the courage to be imperfect, vulnerable, and to set boundaries. She concludes, quite
profoundly, that we need more leaders who are brave and authentic, not less.

angry female boss pointing at her watch complaining her employee at workplace

So, who’s right? Well, neither of these experts. Here’s why.

Fritz Perls was one of the most important psychotherapists of the 20th century. His model,
famously known as Gestalt Therapy, is a person-centred approach focusing on the
individual’s immediate experiences. Gestalt Therapy builds self-awareness and encourages
self-determination by connecting with our immediate experience of life. With this focus on
immediate experience, we might expect Perls to be the poster boy for authenticity.

Well, he is, and he isn’t.

On one hand, Gestalt therapy absolutely seeks greater moment-to-moment connection with
our inner self. However, it also advocates adapting to the situation. In fact, Fritz Perls
believed we are at our best when adapting to the situation in which we find ourselves. He said:

“You don’t drive a car according to ‘I want to drive at 65 mph.’ You drive according to the situation. You drive at a different speed at night. You drive at a different speed when there is traffic. You drive differently when you are tired. You listen to the situation.” p. 19.

Moreover, Perls insists our ability to adapt in this way is an expression of self-
confidence, not conformity.

Personally, I’ve always loved this metaphor of being ourselves, while driving to
the conditions. I’ve used it many times helping clients understand what it means to be well
adjusted. Or, to use Perls’ preferred term, well adjusting – a term that emphasises the
ongoing challenge of navigating life’s constant challenges.

What does this mean for leaders?

Back in the real world, yes it’s great to be an authentic leader. But it’s also important to
adapt to the situation, to read the room, to respond to what’s needed, and to respect the
needs of others.

For example…
As a leader, when you give feedback to an employee, your feedback should be more than
just an expression of your authenticity. It should also meet the needs of the recipient.

When you address poor performance, you should do more than just vent your natural
frustration. You should also support the other person’s development.

When you set out your vision for the team, you should do more than just share your goals.
You should also connect with the mission and the objectives of the organisation.

Leaders need to do it all, to walk and chew gum. If you’re a leader, give yourself permission
to be your natural self. Let your authenticity shine through. Work on being more confident
and taking ownership of who you are: – Just don’t forget to drive to the conditions.

Fritz Perls (1893 – 1970). Are you going to argue with this guy?  

*To be fair, I think Grant and Brown are saying something similar. But Fritz Perls gets the
prize because he said it first, and he said it with the authoritative accent of a German
psychotherapist.

Check out my new book for further strategies to connect better with your people and bring out their best.

References

Brené Brown . (2016). My response to Adam Grant’s New York Times Op/ED: Unless You’re
Oprah, ‘Be Yourself’ Is Terrible Advice. Linked-in.

Adam Grant. (2016)  Unless you’re Oprah, “Be Yourself” is Terrible Advice. Op-ed.  New
York Times.

Frederick Perls. (1969) Gestalt Therapy Verbatim.  Real People Press.